


A Thousand Moments

by jadedgreen



Category: The Grisha Trilogy - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: Canon Divergence, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-02
Updated: 2015-06-04
Packaged: 2018-02-11 10:48:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2065266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jadedgreen/pseuds/jadedgreen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of short drabbles about the Darkling and Alina</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Eclipse

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the Alarkling Week prompt: Eclipse  
> Edit- I just realized how well this song went with this story:  
>  _Fiction, when we're not together_  
>  _Mistaken for a vision, something of my own creation_  
>  -"Fiction", The xx

Even though he knows she's not reaching across their connection to visit him, he still sees her. When he stares at the map in the war room, it is not Ravka he sees, but her pale face and haunted eyes. When his advisers drone on about the latest developments in negotiations with the Fjerdans, he finds his mind slipping far too often to thoughts of her—where she is, what she is planning, whether her thoughts are occupied by him as well—but his cool gaze never wavers and his advisers are none the wiser. Still, he is crueler than usual towards the souls who bow and tremble before him, as if to make up for his private weaknesses.

Sleep offers no respite. The sight of his bed brings back memories of all the times he sat at the edge of it, watching her fall asleep and resisting the urge to push back her hair and kiss her temple. The slide of the black silk sheets against his skin triggers a phantom sensation of fingers dragging down his back. He cannot remember when he last dreamed in this century, but now she appears every night, head held high and eyes blazing with defiance. With her lips pressed against his ear, she whispers the same words each night: Monster. Murderer. _Aleksander._  
He finds it impossible to fall back asleep after jolting awake from these dreams, so he uses the time to build his army of _nichevo'ya_ , until exhaustion sends him into a dreamless slumber.

When he does allow himself to indulge in the weakness of wanting her, he laughs at the irony of their relationship. She is the sun, and he is meant to be the darkness to envelop her. Yet, she is the one eclipsing his life.


	2. Taboo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a canon divergent drabble featuring Dark!Alina. Light smut ahead!

There are unspoken rules between them.

For instance, he is not allowed to mock the long dead _otkazat'sya_ men she loved—and still loves. (He's convinced she continues to carry their corpses in her heart partly out of spite for him.) As for her, she is not allowed to throw his mother’s death at him. (The first time she used that against him was the moment they both realized she had finally learned to be cruel.)

These are not the only rules they have to keep each other in check. There exists another set of rules for the dangerous games they play with each other when the night is at its darkest. 

It is these rules that are most often broken.

Sometimes—lost in the ecstasy and the euphoric rush of power that comes from his hands and lips sweeping across every inch of her body, calling her all at once—she’ll give in to the temptation of _merzost_ and make a wild grasp for the shadows within him. When he feels the familiar tension in his heart, like a piece of it is being ripped away, he’ll give her a sharp bite—not caring if he draws blood—to stop her and bring her back to herself. 

It is rarer, but his control sometimes slips too, and he will try to reach for the light within her. The light calls to him just as he calls to it—an intoxicating reservoir of pure golden power just underneath her skin. But as soon as she realizes the pulsing of her powers is not of her own volition, she will immediately shove him off of her and leave him, often disappearing for months afterwards. He is not allowed to use her power—never again.

She never apologizes. Neither does he. It’s not like they have anything to be sorry for. And besides, there is nothing between them that demands kindness.

However there is one rule that they both helplessly obey, and that is that their hunger for power must be fed. Their appetite for each other can be satiated through carnal pleasures, but their desire for power is far stronger and impossible to satisfy. Thus, despite the pain each gives to the other, they find themselves tangled together night after night in their unending darkness.


	3. Closer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A scene from Alina and the Darkling's ~~romantic~~ horseback ride together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _We used to get closer than this_  
>  _Is it something you miss?_  
>  -"Tides", The xx

The girl—the sun summoner—is somehow asleep, despite the jolting of the horse. It’s impressive but worrying, because heavy sleepers don’t tend to be survivors. He takes a moment to study the sickly, underfed slip of a girl, who is somehow to be the key to his centuries of planning. Her skin was clammy when he touched her neck—likely a symptom of power suppression. And shock, he supposes.

An uneven step from his horse causes her to sway back into him. He wraps his arm around her waist and leans her against him to steady her. It suddenly strikes him that it has been a while since he’s been this physically close to someone. Her weight on him is not uncomfortable. He absentmindedly wonders if this sun summoner will also have an unnaturally long life span like him...

He stops his mind before it can go any further with developing feeble hopes. Such foolish thoughts must not distract him from his goals, and he knows better than anyone that to want is to be weak.

\--------------

When Alina wakes, the Darkling’s arm is around her, and her head is against his chest. She starts and jerks away from him, stammering out an apology while a blush makes its way across her cheeks. When she glances back at the Darkling, he gives her a small smile and assures her she did not inconvenience him. Utterly mortified (and more than slightly terrified), Alina turns and leans away from him, carefully minimizing any body contact between them. She does not see the flash of disappointment that crosses his face. 

Although she stays awake, they do not speak for the remainder of the ride.


	4. Within

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set some time after Siege and Storm
> 
>  _I think I might have inhaled you_  
>  _You have gotten into my bloodstream_ \- "Bloodstream", Stateless

When he wakes up, the first thing he sees is the black of an _oprichniki’s_ uniform. His loyal shadows are never far from him. There are several Healers gathered around him, knitting his skin and bones together, but he ignores them. His first hazy thought is that he feels…different. He’s not just injured and fatigued from Alina’s nearly successful attack (clever, foolish girl). There’s something else entirely. It’s not unpleasant—it’s similar to the tug of a long forgotten, but once cherished memory. He closes his eyes again; it will be a matter to puzzle over later...  


Later, after he has unleashed his rage at Alina’s escape on some unfortunate nobles and Grisha traitors who managed to survive his initial attack, and after all the blood has been scrubbed from both palaces, he has a moment to settle down in his study with a glass of _kvas_ and ponder the subtle change he detects within himself. He sets his _kvas_ down on his desk. The glass catches the rays of the setting sun, refracting them onto his hand. Staring at the spots of light on his hand, he is reminded of Alina, and he feels the faintest sensation of a pull so familiar that it’s almost as if...  


Light dances on his fingertips and he grins in triumph as he marvels at his new power. However, with light still swirling in his palm, his smile becomes grim as he comes to the conclusion that Alina likely holds yet another piece of him.  


\----------  


Alina stares in horror at her fingers as she realizes that while the light isn’t responding to her calls, the shadows are. She feels sick. The Darkling has managed to infect her yet again. This is the darkness that slaughtered so many, the darkness of the Fold, the darkness of _him_. Although she scatters the shadows in disgust, she can’t help but feel relieved that she still has some power, nor can she quiet the greedy voice that cries for _more._


End file.
